Hey friends. I feel honoured to get to introduce my good friend , who has written this week’s post and BEAUTIFUL guided meditation. I honestly feel like I’ve learned more from Seb than almost anyone else I know. Her whole way of being is so capacious – life, death, separation, belonging, ancestors, illness, justice – she holds it all. And she does it with such lightness, with so much extra space for play and connection. If you haven’t already, make sure to subscribe to her terrific Substack, Ancestors to Elements.
I love you Sebene, thank you!
Jeff
PS- just posted the latest Ten Percent Happier podcast episode, where the three of us – plus my bestie ! – chat about life and practice.
Hi friends,
I'm Sebene, and I'm filling in for my buddy Jeff this week. He and I met some years ago through our mutual friend Dan, and now the three of us throw Meditation Party events together. Yes, meditation teachers roll in gangs—very quiet gangs.
In my teaching and writing, I regularly dip into the deep end of the contemplative pool, exploring questions like: If everything is ultimately perfect—why do I continually get caught up in my nonsense to the point of being totally distracted during meditation?
Or: How do I reconcile the fact that, although, at my core, I'm merely pulsating atoms—I also recognize I'm an often-exhausted, middle-aged, Black lady living on stolen Lenape land in Brooklyn, NY?
And my biggest question these days: We seem to be in a propulsive trajectory towards ever-more turmoil—does it even matter if I meditate? [Spoiler alert: Yes, it does.]
These questions are clearly paradoxes. Paradoxes are my jam. And allowing for them shows me that, yes, practice matters, just sometimes not in the ways I expect or maybe not even in ways I can always sense.
I like that the word practice names what we're doing and also implies that this is an ongoing process. Like with any skill, a meditation practice may evolve, but it never ends: buckle up—also, find what works for you (for now). For many years, my primary practice has been mindfulness (mindfulness is my other jam), and I try out others too.
I also like the word matters in "practice matters" because it implies the importance for us and our planet that we meditate (we'll get to why that is in a sec). However, I also like the idea of matter as a basic substance. This meaning serves as a warning not to use practice to bypass the realities of life. While it might be great to touch into the bliss and oneness-of-it-all (in fact, this can nourish and fuel me on the path), as the saying goes: after the ecstasy, the laundry. Or in my case, after the ecstasy… the fear connected to living with advanced metastatic cancer, or the grief of my recent divorce, or the everyday annoyances of being an imperfect human person muddling her way through it all and sometimes making an utter mess of things. In the end, we are simply made of the same stuff as everyone and everything else—there's no getting around being someone with feelings and faults.
Then there's a third connotation of matter, as a term from physics. Here's where it gets meaningfully magical. Because, maybe this is true for you too, it can seem like practice is futile in the face of our current polycrises. Yes, mindfulness helps me cultivate attention to all experience—sensations, emotions, and thoughts as well as their various interplay—and gradually develop more peace with whatever I witness. Yes, this capacity has grown in me over many years. And, while it's not always constant or easy (and it's definitely nowhere near perfect), yes, I can honestly say I feel a lot more joy and freedom in my life because of practice. But does any of this matter? We are living in a world rife with divisions, inequalities, violence, and oppression. Many forces are successfully promoting the delusions of separation and domination. Our climate is collapsing. You don’t need me to remind you that we are in critical times. Why are we meditators literally gazing at our navels?
I say because the ancient teachings as well as modern science point to the fact that absolutely nothing is separate and every single thing throughout all of of time and space is interdependent, that Einstein told us over 100 years ago that “time is a persistent illusion” but we don’t truly accept this reality (also, we don’t understand the math), that we are imbedded within a universe of great mystery where consciousness itself may be its inexplicably interconnecting force, that 96% of the universe is dark matter and dark energy and our dumb asses do not know what that even means, that the central paradox is this: yes, I am a tiny human with petty problems definitely needing my tender, loving attention AND I am also a collection of vibrating energy patterns where every micro-moment of my living is impacting the entire outcome of reality throughout eternity. We are all literally just vibes affecting all the other vibes (I was going to call this Vibes Matter, but I wanted people to open the email).
These days practice is packaged to be about individual stress relief (which isn’t a bad strategy/gateway-drug), but I firmly believe practice is ultimately about both personal and collective liberation. I don’t want to be constantly flooded by fears of dying from this disease and I am scared the U.S. may descend into the complete chaos of polarized political mayhem. I practice so I can be present and awake for whatever arises for me and for our world. I do what I can for my body and my communities. I trust that doing so will also impact outcomes in ways I can’t necessarily measure or maybe even know.
In the meditation today, we will explore how to center intention, attention and connection in order to support our innate ability to be aware, clear, and spacious.
Intention focuses us on our aspirations for practice, providing us inspiration and direction.
Attention helps us notice what is arising in practice, cultivating the skill of staying with our experience–no matter what.
And connection reminds us that ultimately this is simply about letting things be—we may not have control, but we are not separate from anything and therefore have impact on ourselves, on each other, and on everything now and forever.
I hope you enjoy the practice. Thanks for vibing with me today.
With love,
Sebene
P.S. If you too love exploring paradox, my signature course Ancestors to Elements starts October 9th. I’d be delighted if you want to join me. More info here.
Have a meditation request?
Great – please fill out this form. Write (brief) context about you and your situation, including what’s helped in the past, or where your curiosity comes from. Although I can’t respond to all requests, the act of simply stating a situation – and naming what’s already been supportive – can be clarifying and helpful.
Once a month, I choose one question, and write both a response and a meditation. These make up Hey Jeff, a column available to paid subscribers.
Thank you.
MEDITATION PARTY - In-person and online retreat
October 11 - 13, 2024
Omega Institute, Rhinebeck, NY
Mindfulness, Conversation, and Reckless Conviviality with Meditation Superfriends Dan, Seb and Jeff
Join us for a three-day, do-nothing party with
, Jeff Warren, and Dan Harris. We’ll do lots of meditating, but this is definitely not a silent retreat. We’ll also be connecting with each other, moving our bodies, and discovering the power of applying our practice to everything in life.Many of us meditate solo these days. This is a chance to get all of the HOV lane benefits of meditating in a group. Come if you’re a beginner or a seasoned practitioner looking to up your game. Seb, Jeff, and Dan teach meditation from very different perspectives, and our goal is to help you explore a variety of techniques, both for on-the-cushion practice and free-range living.
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