Kelly, this practice and your Substack are just beautiful. As I practiced with your guidance, I appreciated your note at the beginning that I could "swap" words out for my own experience. And as I kept going, something about the way you invited everyone in with that simple line made me feel more honored to be in the meditation space with you, if that makes sense.
I'm not sure I would have naturally gravitated toward this practice if not for this collaboration, out of respect for the fact that your journey is not mine. But I'm so glad I had the nudge to join you here, and will definitely keep doing so. 🙏
Joe, thanks so much for sharing your experience, and for giving it a try. When I first started meditating, I found some of the guiding required me to change the language to fit my experience. Especially when a teacher tells you to sit upright, to be still, to get comfortable (ha!, as if) etc. Restless leg syndrome and electric shocks of nerves reconnecting meant my body had different needs. Some of the time I could follow the guidance, and some of the time, I modified it for my own experiences and my own body. I think all of the meditations I’ve done on self-compassion helped me understand that listening to my body, being present with my body, was a critical component of my practice.
Thank you for sharing and being so open and honest. This summer will be 10 years since my breast cancer treatment. I felt as though I could not have gone through that if meditation hadn’t been part of my life. You never know what life has in store for you. Practice when you are “good” and when you are “healthy “. It will be your best friend!
Sheila, thanks for your message. I really have found meditation to be that reliable companion! 10 years out is huge! We've all got our worries and struggles, cancer or not, and it's cool to hear that you've continued to meditate as a tool for just being a person in the world.
This is all so inspirational. Spirit at work connecting Kelly to you Jeff just when she needed meditation to transform her life. Kelly you are incredible and Jeff such a powerful teacher and support. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending love and light to you both.❤️
Thank you for this Kelly and Jeff this was a very healing meditation. I had breast cancer over the summer, then found out I had the BRCA2 genetic mutation which end in a double mastectomy. There are so many days I feel my body has betrayed me. Finding the enjoyment in meditation has been a struggle.
Hi Colette, I hear you. It's so hard. I cannot remember if I mentioned it (because cancer meds!), but I also have the BRCA2 mutation, and have been in and out of surgery land the past few years. I read this book that helped me name my experience called This is Body Grief by Jayne Mattingly. She talks about all sorts of body experiences. I also found the book Body Neutral by Jessi Kneeland to be a helpful start to changing my relationship to my body after feeling that sense of betrayal. I hope you can find some of that self-compassion. For me, it's been a slow and necessary process. I'm now almost three years out from my first mastectomy/amputation, and I am in such a different place than I was after that surgery, which felt very devastating. Feel free to reach out over on Chemo Sessions. I also have a post there about Body Betrayal and Forgiveness. 🩵
Thank you, Kelly, for sharing your experience and this meditation, and Jeff, for recognizing how this might be of help to all of us in ways large and small. For me, the two big take aways were the necessity of self-compassion, and giving ourselves permission to revel in small joys. The extended body scan (with Kelly's reminders to notice what is good in our bodies and lives) was the perfect vehicle for this. I have no doubt that meditation can help us cope with the physical and emotional changes of illness and aging.
I write this as a 72 year old, which to my thinking, means I am in the last few years of middle age. I live in a generally healthy body and do my best to keep it that way. Although thus far, I've had good fortune not to have suffered from a serious or potentially life-threatening illness, my body sends me daily reminders that it is no longer a reliably functioning machine. I've been struggling with chronic shoulder pain for many years, along with angry and insistent messages from nerves elsewhere in my body. So I've been living with a disconnect between the vitality of my spirit and the reality of a body in slow decline. Early on I would respond to all of this with anger, sadness, frustration and then stubbornly insist that my energizer bunny persona lead me through the pain. Forget self-compassion -- which I saw as self-pity. But by deepening my meditation practice over the past few years, my response has shifted towards one of greater self-acceptance, kindness, and so importantly, finding joy in simple pleasures throughout my day.
Rebecca, I hope you're able to find some little joys to carry you through, and keep you present. And I hope that Chemo Sessions can be a balm and support along the way. Sending you some big love 💜
Thank you Kelly and Jeff for this post and sharing these meditations. I’m currently sitting in a chemo room supporting a loved one receiving chemo as I write this. It is amazing this post arrived in my feed at this exact moment. I look forward to listening and sharing. Sending you both gratitude and metta. 🙏🏼
Thank you for this practice Kelly and Jeff. I went through breast cancer treatment in the fall (just surgery and radiation, not chemo). But since then I have been avoiding looking at my body, and have felt so uncomfortable with how it looks. This helped me see how I was being unkind.
I had also thought the treatment is over so “that chapter is behind me” but giving space and attention to it just now made me realize there’s still a lot of thoughts and feelings there that I want to allow to be.
Belinda, I know how the mirror can be fraught with cruelty post treatment. It's hard to see ourselves change so much so fast. It's hard to feel unrecognizable to ourselves. It's hard to accept it all. A lot of folks feel like after radiation is very difficult, very disorienting. The people around them/us want them to move on, and they/we want to move on, too. Having cancer can be traumatizing. Processing having cancer can take more time than we want it to. And giving ourselves the time and compassion to process it can be so healing and powerful. Sending love as you find a way to be in this new version of your body. 🩵
I have never had cancer, but recently my cardiologist told me that I had heart disease. This was a surprise because I don't have any of the usual indicators for it: no smoking, metabolically healthy etc. It turned out that my family has a gene that causes atherosclerosis despite all our best efforts. But because I've been meditating since the pandemic (when it really helped), I did not really freak out: I just researched it, did the tests and medicine that my cardiologist recommended, and as other people have said here, started thinking about mortality. I realized that I don't actually want to live forever! (In this body, I'm saying in case reincarnation is real.) It's kind of a relief to know that you will escape your present form at some point. I am grateful that heart disease is a "silent killer" because I don't feel bad at all. Some day I will drop dead and that's ok. There's a scene in "Driving Miss Daisy" where two old people discuss the sudden death of a friend from a stroke and say, "She was lucky."
Hi Shannon-thanks for sharing your own story. It is so interesting how a diagnosis gets us to think about death, and then the way that meditation can impact our understanding of that diagnosis and deepen/change our relationship to our mortality.
Kelly, this practice and your Substack are just beautiful. As I practiced with your guidance, I appreciated your note at the beginning that I could "swap" words out for my own experience. And as I kept going, something about the way you invited everyone in with that simple line made me feel more honored to be in the meditation space with you, if that makes sense.
I'm not sure I would have naturally gravitated toward this practice if not for this collaboration, out of respect for the fact that your journey is not mine. But I'm so glad I had the nudge to join you here, and will definitely keep doing so. 🙏
Joe, thanks so much for sharing your experience, and for giving it a try. When I first started meditating, I found some of the guiding required me to change the language to fit my experience. Especially when a teacher tells you to sit upright, to be still, to get comfortable (ha!, as if) etc. Restless leg syndrome and electric shocks of nerves reconnecting meant my body had different needs. Some of the time I could follow the guidance, and some of the time, I modified it for my own experiences and my own body. I think all of the meditations I’ve done on self-compassion helped me understand that listening to my body, being present with my body, was a critical component of my practice.
And thanks for being part of this collaboration!
Thank you Kelly and Jeff. I have stage 4 cancer and while I have meditated for many years Kelly’s medication helped. All the best from England.
I’ve found meditation to be such a reliable support during the difficulties of treatment. I’m glad to hear that this was helpful🩵
I’m so glad Jon, thank you Kelly!
Thank you for sharing and being so open and honest. This summer will be 10 years since my breast cancer treatment. I felt as though I could not have gone through that if meditation hadn’t been part of my life. You never know what life has in store for you. Practice when you are “good” and when you are “healthy “. It will be your best friend!
Sheila, thanks for your message. I really have found meditation to be that reliable companion! 10 years out is huge! We've all got our worries and struggles, cancer or not, and it's cool to hear that you've continued to meditate as a tool for just being a person in the world.
Thank you
This is all so inspirational. Spirit at work connecting Kelly to you Jeff just when she needed meditation to transform her life. Kelly you are incredible and Jeff such a powerful teacher and support. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending love and light to you both.❤️
Thanks Kay!
Thank you for this Kelly and Jeff this was a very healing meditation. I had breast cancer over the summer, then found out I had the BRCA2 genetic mutation which end in a double mastectomy. There are so many days I feel my body has betrayed me. Finding the enjoyment in meditation has been a struggle.
Hi Colette, I hear you. It's so hard. I cannot remember if I mentioned it (because cancer meds!), but I also have the BRCA2 mutation, and have been in and out of surgery land the past few years. I read this book that helped me name my experience called This is Body Grief by Jayne Mattingly. She talks about all sorts of body experiences. I also found the book Body Neutral by Jessi Kneeland to be a helpful start to changing my relationship to my body after feeling that sense of betrayal. I hope you can find some of that self-compassion. For me, it's been a slow and necessary process. I'm now almost three years out from my first mastectomy/amputation, and I am in such a different place than I was after that surgery, which felt very devastating. Feel free to reach out over on Chemo Sessions. I also have a post there about Body Betrayal and Forgiveness. 🩵
Kelly, I so appreciate how engaged you are here, your perspective and your meditations are such a big resource. Thank you again.
Thank you, Kelly, for sharing your experience and this meditation, and Jeff, for recognizing how this might be of help to all of us in ways large and small. For me, the two big take aways were the necessity of self-compassion, and giving ourselves permission to revel in small joys. The extended body scan (with Kelly's reminders to notice what is good in our bodies and lives) was the perfect vehicle for this. I have no doubt that meditation can help us cope with the physical and emotional changes of illness and aging.
I write this as a 72 year old, which to my thinking, means I am in the last few years of middle age. I live in a generally healthy body and do my best to keep it that way. Although thus far, I've had good fortune not to have suffered from a serious or potentially life-threatening illness, my body sends me daily reminders that it is no longer a reliably functioning machine. I've been struggling with chronic shoulder pain for many years, along with angry and insistent messages from nerves elsewhere in my body. So I've been living with a disconnect between the vitality of my spirit and the reality of a body in slow decline. Early on I would respond to all of this with anger, sadness, frustration and then stubbornly insist that my energizer bunny persona lead me through the pain. Forget self-compassion -- which I saw as self-pity. But by deepening my meditation practice over the past few years, my response has shifted towards one of greater self-acceptance, kindness, and so importantly, finding joy in simple pleasures throughout my day.
With gratitude towards all in this community. 🙏🏻
So wise Tamar, and beautifully said. An inspiring model for aging gracefully!
Starting chemo next week. This came at the perfect time.
Rebecca, I hope you're able to find some little joys to carry you through, and keep you present. And I hope that Chemo Sessions can be a balm and support along the way. Sending you some big love 💜
Thank you. Blessings.
Good luck with your treatment.
Thank you!
Rebecca, also sending you love and support friend!
Thank you so much!
Thank you Kelly and Jeff for this post and sharing these meditations. I’m currently sitting in a chemo room supporting a loved one receiving chemo as I write this. It is amazing this post arrived in my feed at this exact moment. I look forward to listening and sharing. Sending you both gratitude and metta. 🙏🏼
J’Val that timing is unbelievable. I hope it was a support. Wishing you all the best in your treatment.
Thank you for this practice Kelly and Jeff. I went through breast cancer treatment in the fall (just surgery and radiation, not chemo). But since then I have been avoiding looking at my body, and have felt so uncomfortable with how it looks. This helped me see how I was being unkind.
I had also thought the treatment is over so “that chapter is behind me” but giving space and attention to it just now made me realize there’s still a lot of thoughts and feelings there that I want to allow to be.
Kelly thank you so much for sharing this with us
Belinda, I know how the mirror can be fraught with cruelty post treatment. It's hard to see ourselves change so much so fast. It's hard to feel unrecognizable to ourselves. It's hard to accept it all. A lot of folks feel like after radiation is very difficult, very disorienting. The people around them/us want them to move on, and they/we want to move on, too. Having cancer can be traumatizing. Processing having cancer can take more time than we want it to. And giving ourselves the time and compassion to process it can be so healing and powerful. Sending love as you find a way to be in this new version of your body. 🩵
Belinda I appreciate your vulnerability friend, glad you’re here
I am grateful for this meditation. Thank you.
I have never had cancer, but recently my cardiologist told me that I had heart disease. This was a surprise because I don't have any of the usual indicators for it: no smoking, metabolically healthy etc. It turned out that my family has a gene that causes atherosclerosis despite all our best efforts. But because I've been meditating since the pandemic (when it really helped), I did not really freak out: I just researched it, did the tests and medicine that my cardiologist recommended, and as other people have said here, started thinking about mortality. I realized that I don't actually want to live forever! (In this body, I'm saying in case reincarnation is real.) It's kind of a relief to know that you will escape your present form at some point. I am grateful that heart disease is a "silent killer" because I don't feel bad at all. Some day I will drop dead and that's ok. There's a scene in "Driving Miss Daisy" where two old people discuss the sudden death of a friend from a stroke and say, "She was lucky."
Hi Shannon-thanks for sharing your own story. It is so interesting how a diagnosis gets us to think about death, and then the way that meditation can impact our understanding of that diagnosis and deepen/change our relationship to our mortality.