Jeff, this is a wondrously gentle meditation that left me sitting in a soft glow after it ended. 🙏❤️ Sharing that loving glow with all in this community.
I’m so grateful for your meditations, Jeff 🙏 They’ve helped me countless times, particularly during a very stressful event in my life when they helped me to relax and breathe and calm down. Please keep sharing your magic with the world 💙
I just had this exact conversation with a friend who had recently begun meditation. Thank you for your timely,much clearer writing and meditation. I shared it with her and she is on board!
Jeff, I liken meditation to going to the gym. One or two workouts are not going to make much difference. But a regular workout routine over time can make a tremendous difference.
Meditation is my workout routine for my compassion and equanimity muscles, which have been critical for me during these difficult times in my country. They give me the strength to resist the pull of of difficult emotions. I can feel them without getting swept away. At least some of the time! :-)
Finally, I have noticed with both my physical and meditation workout routines, that an all-or-nothing approach typically leads to nothing. I get burnt out and stop. Therefore, instead, I practice an all-or-something routine. That is, I try to do a little something every day to move myself forward towards my goals, both physical and emotional.
“All or something attitude” - beautifully said Gary. I think of it the same way. Like the gym, it keeps me at a certain level of emotional and spiritual health. Other times it feels like insulin, something that isn’t just an add-on, but a critical component of what keeps my system functioning at all!
"Critical component" - Yes! Especially for my mental health and well-being.
All-or-something genesis: I realized many years ago that if I pushed to the max at the gym, I tended to skip the next workout due to feeling sore and tired. Maybe I felt the same the next day, too, and stayed home again. Eventually, there went my regular gym routine, and I'd stop altogether. However, I found that if I left the gym wanting to do one more set, I was motivated to return in the following days.
Gradually, I expanded the concept to many of my activites, from vacationing to writing to meditating, etc. Then, I began teaching it to my exective coaching clients too, who tend to attack every personal growth activity with max effort, leading too often to max burnout.
I suppose it's my modern day take of the tortoise and the hare parable: slow and steady wins the race. It might not work for everybody, but it has worked well for me over the years.
Couldn't have said it better myself. My husband sometimes teases me when I get a little reactive to the news... "didn't you meditate today?" YES, and, had I not, things would be thrown... and I relax back more readily.
Even before listening to the meditation, I was reading Jeff’s overview and was reminded once again that he is meditation’s Explainer-in-Chief. Thank you, Jeff.
Jeff, I have been following you since I was introduced to the Calm app yrs ago. The opportunities to follow you during your mediations on Calm and now I found you on Substack have helped me through difficult times and moments. Thank you for providing many opportunities to heal.
A bit TMI, meditation has done significant improvements to IBS, I can tell which days I do not mediate. Thanks for this Jeff, I spent the first year asking "am I doing this right' and the coaching on equinimty gave me the perspective that you can't do it wrong.
Thank you for this, Jeff ❤️. It reinforces for me that the good of meditation isn't big pomp and circumstance in the moment, but the subtle ability to accept what's here throughout the day without reacting so much (like when my cats get into a cabinet and break my wine glasses 😆).
It’s interesting that this meditation, this post comes along at that moment in time.
I’ve been asking myself over and over in the last two years if meditation is working. Although I always liked the process of sitting down, I didn’t feel any progress. Nobody told me I had become a “better person”. 😊
And even after two years of pretty regular meditation I can’t say I have made much progress. Whenever I sit down it feels like an invitation for my mind to assault me with all kinds of random thoughts. And I often thought, oh, I would love to ask Jeff if it’s normal that after such a long time I still can’t concentrate for more than three breaths. Of course I never dared. 🤣
Three weeks ago frustration ran high and I just stopped. Completely. At first everything was the same. But in the last couple of days I realized how thin my nerves have become. Tiny things annoy me and I get angry so easily.
It might be a coincidence or, more likely, meditation is working even though I’m spending most of my meditation time thinking about other stuff.
Daniela super interesting report. It’s very true the benefits can be subtle, it’s only when there’s a contrast between meditating and not meditating that we notice a difference.
Of course it’s totally normal that there’s lots of thinking and that sometimes gets less and sometimes it doesn’t. I go through phases. Definitely less thinking now, but still happens quite a bit. The real medicine is just letting yourself have the experience you’re having, except now it’s with more awareness and a bit more acceptance. That frame is important even if it feels like nothing. It’s doing something.
My Substack post about the four seeds lays out some ways of thinking about that.
And… also important to say for anyone reading that if every time you meditate, you’re getting extra stressed and anxious, and thinking seems to be spiralling into even worse places … then I’d say meditation is contraindicated in that moment. Being in nature or exercise or hanging with a friend or something else might be more supportive. It’s a fine line though. Because you can have a sit with lots of anxious thinking and you give yourself space to be that way and you actually do end up better off for it.
We kind of get a sense of it on our own after a while, but it can take time. Patience helps. As they say in Zen, the slow way is the fast way.
Thank you for your reply, Jeff, and your encouragement. I’ll keep going.
I think I always expected too much. Because some people experience those big changes and I didn’t. I agree that accepting your own situation is the most important thing here. My changes might be subtle but it doesn’t mean they are less valuable.
As always thank you for being such a great teacher.
Jeff!! I did this medical three times in a row while I wasn’t feeling well today. It gave me great comfort and left me feeling more gentle with myself each time. Thank you my friend!
Jeff, this is a wondrously gentle meditation that left me sitting in a soft glow after it ended. 🙏❤️ Sharing that loving glow with all in this community.
Received Tamar, thank you
I’m so grateful for your meditations, Jeff 🙏 They’ve helped me countless times, particularly during a very stressful event in my life when they helped me to relax and breathe and calm down. Please keep sharing your magic with the world 💙
So glad to hear that Tanya, nice to meet you here in the community. Hope your practice continues to support you
I just had this exact conversation with a friend who had recently begun meditation. Thank you for your timely,much clearer writing and meditation. I shared it with her and she is on board!
Nice!
i been here. i know this feeling.
❤️ yeah you do
Jeff, I liken meditation to going to the gym. One or two workouts are not going to make much difference. But a regular workout routine over time can make a tremendous difference.
Meditation is my workout routine for my compassion and equanimity muscles, which have been critical for me during these difficult times in my country. They give me the strength to resist the pull of of difficult emotions. I can feel them without getting swept away. At least some of the time! :-)
Finally, I have noticed with both my physical and meditation workout routines, that an all-or-nothing approach typically leads to nothing. I get burnt out and stop. Therefore, instead, I practice an all-or-something routine. That is, I try to do a little something every day to move myself forward towards my goals, both physical and emotional.
Thank you as always for your wisdom and teaching.
“All or something attitude” - beautifully said Gary. I think of it the same way. Like the gym, it keeps me at a certain level of emotional and spiritual health. Other times it feels like insulin, something that isn’t just an add-on, but a critical component of what keeps my system functioning at all!
"Critical component" - Yes! Especially for my mental health and well-being.
All-or-something genesis: I realized many years ago that if I pushed to the max at the gym, I tended to skip the next workout due to feeling sore and tired. Maybe I felt the same the next day, too, and stayed home again. Eventually, there went my regular gym routine, and I'd stop altogether. However, I found that if I left the gym wanting to do one more set, I was motivated to return in the following days.
Gradually, I expanded the concept to many of my activites, from vacationing to writing to meditating, etc. Then, I began teaching it to my exective coaching clients too, who tend to attack every personal growth activity with max effort, leading too often to max burnout.
I suppose it's my modern day take of the tortoise and the hare parable: slow and steady wins the race. It might not work for everybody, but it has worked well for me over the years.
Couldn't have said it better myself. My husband sometimes teases me when I get a little reactive to the news... "didn't you meditate today?" YES, and, had I not, things would be thrown... and I relax back more readily.
Exactly, Karen!
Even before listening to the meditation, I was reading Jeff’s overview and was reminded once again that he is meditation’s Explainer-in-Chief. Thank you, Jeff.
Ha! Had to do something with my neurotic explainer part, seemed like a decent option. 😂
Jeff, I have been following you since I was introduced to the Calm app yrs ago. The opportunities to follow you during your mediations on Calm and now I found you on Substack have helped me through difficult times and moments. Thank you for providing many opportunities to heal.
You’re very welcome, Kathy, glad you’re here.
A bit TMI, meditation has done significant improvements to IBS, I can tell which days I do not mediate. Thanks for this Jeff, I spent the first year asking "am I doing this right' and the coaching on equinimty gave me the perspective that you can't do it wrong.
Not TMI, really interesting. And not surprising. Sometimes I think of inflammation as being the primary culprit in both the body and the mind.
My nervous system thanks you. Happy Valentines Day! ❤️
Mine, too!!
Thank you for this, Jeff ❤️. It reinforces for me that the good of meditation isn't big pomp and circumstance in the moment, but the subtle ability to accept what's here throughout the day without reacting so much (like when my cats get into a cabinet and break my wine glasses 😆).
🥋
I really appreciated this one. Used it twice today and plan to use some sort of version of it with students tomorrow in class.
It’s interesting that this meditation, this post comes along at that moment in time.
I’ve been asking myself over and over in the last two years if meditation is working. Although I always liked the process of sitting down, I didn’t feel any progress. Nobody told me I had become a “better person”. 😊
And even after two years of pretty regular meditation I can’t say I have made much progress. Whenever I sit down it feels like an invitation for my mind to assault me with all kinds of random thoughts. And I often thought, oh, I would love to ask Jeff if it’s normal that after such a long time I still can’t concentrate for more than three breaths. Of course I never dared. 🤣
Three weeks ago frustration ran high and I just stopped. Completely. At first everything was the same. But in the last couple of days I realized how thin my nerves have become. Tiny things annoy me and I get angry so easily.
It might be a coincidence or, more likely, meditation is working even though I’m spending most of my meditation time thinking about other stuff.
Daniela super interesting report. It’s very true the benefits can be subtle, it’s only when there’s a contrast between meditating and not meditating that we notice a difference.
Of course it’s totally normal that there’s lots of thinking and that sometimes gets less and sometimes it doesn’t. I go through phases. Definitely less thinking now, but still happens quite a bit. The real medicine is just letting yourself have the experience you’re having, except now it’s with more awareness and a bit more acceptance. That frame is important even if it feels like nothing. It’s doing something.
My Substack post about the four seeds lays out some ways of thinking about that.
And… also important to say for anyone reading that if every time you meditate, you’re getting extra stressed and anxious, and thinking seems to be spiralling into even worse places … then I’d say meditation is contraindicated in that moment. Being in nature or exercise or hanging with a friend or something else might be more supportive. It’s a fine line though. Because you can have a sit with lots of anxious thinking and you give yourself space to be that way and you actually do end up better off for it.
We kind of get a sense of it on our own after a while, but it can take time. Patience helps. As they say in Zen, the slow way is the fast way.
Glad you’re here, keep the practice going!
Thank you for your reply, Jeff, and your encouragement. I’ll keep going.
I think I always expected too much. Because some people experience those big changes and I didn’t. I agree that accepting your own situation is the most important thing here. My changes might be subtle but it doesn’t mean they are less valuable.
As always thank you for being such a great teacher.
Jeff!! I did this medical three times in a row while I wasn’t feeling well today. It gave me great comfort and left me feeling more gentle with myself each time. Thank you my friend!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you, Diane❤️!
Thanks Big J , needed this tonight after a busy day doing sessions for others in a very wet UK .. sending calm my friend 🙏🏼🐢