58 Comments
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Beverly B's avatar

Thanks so much. My husaband died about 5 years ago and sometimes the pain is so strong like it was yesterday! Yes, I have sadness, anger, guilt. All tears flowed during this thanks

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Jeff Warren's avatar

You’re welcome, Beverly

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Mary's avatar

Thank you Jeff. I think I grieve for my beautiful son who hasn't died but was brain damaged as a child. I grieve for his lost life but feel guilty because he is still alive in a different way.

Mary.

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Jeff Warren's avatar

I think I’d grieve and that situation too Mary.

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jude's avatar

is it okay to include my dog, zabby? she died ten days ago after 15 years under my roof and deep in my heart. i rescued her from a disgusting abusive basement, where she was born and trapped the entire first year of her life, and gave her a life roaming the mountain hollow i live in and hiking daily with me. this has been my first opportunity to move through my loss and grief with mindfulness and, hopefully, some grace and ease, too. thank you, jeff, always.

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Jeff Warren's avatar

Beautiful Jude. Animals are people too. Happy the meditation helped.

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Jennie's avatar

Thank you Jeff. I believe Daniel would thank you too. Our Western society doesn’t make room for ritual around death, and I’ve often thought that the practice of wearing black as a sign of mourning is a practice worth re-adopting.

Writing, creating and crafting shrines have all helped, and my favorite undertaking was a blog prompted by the death of my dog. I’m told that it has been forwarded to others who have lost dear ones, which makes me smile. It’s mostly upbeat and brief and if you like, you can find it here: sitstayandread.wordpress.com

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Jeff Warren's avatar

I agree, rituals are important. I love this idea of an online dog shrine, cool to see pictures of Sophie - what a hound!

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Brandon J Beane's avatar

my wife passed away Tuesday at age 52 from very aggressive breast cancer. We have a 14 year old daughter and 3 sons 18, 19, and 20. Thank you for this.

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Jeff Warren's avatar

I’m so sorry, Brandon. Can’t imagine. Good to be connected.

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Victoria Rosendahl's avatar

My condolences. This year in 6 months time I’ve lost my husband, best girlfriend and best high school friend. I’m doing my best to live in the love they left behind. Not always easy but sometimes I have to take it minute by minute. Thank you for this. See you in the DNP

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Jeff Warren's avatar

I’m sorry for all those losses Victoria. Day by day for sure. See you at the DNP.

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Victoria Rosendahl's avatar

I’ll be there!

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Sarah Ariss's avatar

This is beautiful Jeff. As always, thank you 💜🙏

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Ovi Once Kenobi's avatar

I am mourning for my own self. NOT self pity. But survival. Healing to an extent. Lots of scary scars of jumbled connective tissue and los connections. Not only figuratively.

Got over that at the neighbourly mental institution some years ago.

QUESTION: I am not sure how NOT TO mix the early emotional neglect and with the late, generally grievous work emotional turmoil and creeping decrepitude and obsolescence. Is it even important to make the distinction between the grievances?

I can name, validate it, sense ( not really making sense though) .

And physically, somatically feel it. flow up and out the body, through the maelstrom of the day flavour.

With the occasional special two dichotomies for the ( mental) price of one

What's the juggling set of tricks to exercise ? Beyond the solitary ( not by choice) survival mantras you graciously provide along with the escapism on the cheap bookish retreats?

Again, not in a wailing way, but in a really maintaining whatever's left from the metaverse inclined hordes of squirrels.

Densely packed , that tend to trample as soon as they see a pathway to roam uncontrollably.

In a Galaxy, far , far away General Grievious arse was kicked by Obi Wan.

With this one, can you help maybe, master ?

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Jeff Warren's avatar

I’m not even sure I understand the question! Had an experience recently on retreat where I tapped into this well of grief and shame, and all the rest of it. I’ve had agenda for so long to heal from this stuff, to get rid of it. Or at least diminish it. But I think that’s mostly kept it going. Maybe the work is figuring out how to let it be here for the rest of my life. Let me know if you see any masters around here 😂

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Ovi Once Kenobi's avatar

I am pretty sure I wasn't clear with my question. Not that reframing it would clarify it. It is hazy, because that's how it feels. Foggy on the brain.

I kind of figured out to decelerate my flailing. And that's where I insert "Thank you master" - your unparalleled unpretentious frames were the perfect fit for survival, and to be functional for my progeny.

I would let it go. Or just Let It Be. Gladly. But the dense phlegm of experiential emotions sticks. So it doesn't let me be.

My personal discovery path involved becoming a turophile ( cheese-holic ) in the process.

That , I mastered and embraced fully. As a proper addiction inclined ADHD .

For reference as of why it works.

Which foods may be addictive? The roles of processing, fat content, and glycemic load

Erica M Schulte et al. PLoS One. 2015.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25692302/

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Kelly's avatar

I’m grieving the loss of my dad. I miss him every day. It’s hard to sit with the sadness but maybe he and I can have a new kind of relationship. Thanks Jeff. I’m sorry for your loss.

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Jeff Warren's avatar

Thanks, Kelly.

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Sharon Hanna's avatar

For me it is about my animals who have died in the last while. The grief doesn't seem to go away. It is currently stopping me from getting another pet and yet the house feels so lonely.

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Jeff Warren's avatar

I’m sorry for your losses Sharon

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Sharon Hanna's avatar

Jeff! Wow. Thank you. So - today I had a zoom therapy appointment and talked about this issue with my wonderful therapist. SHazaam - (almost) on this neighbourhood thing there was a cat....and now I am going to meet a 16 month old groovy black kitty on August 24 who is leash trained and I hope to take him home and build a catio for him!!! Just kind of being with it now and yeah shit might happen- etc. but I was cutting myself off from so much HAPPINESS!!!! Love you and everyone else on here.

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erin curley's avatar

Thank you 🙏🏻 I’m grieving the loss of my parents in 2015 n 2020.

someone said.. grieving is love that has no place to go…this is true💔

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Jeff Warren's avatar

I’ve never heard that quote, beautiful. Thanks,Erin.

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KP's avatar

Thank you so much for this tool. And thank you for sharing that great picture of Daniel!

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Jeff Warren's avatar

Thanks for commenting KP, it is a great photo

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

I’m so sorry for your enormous loss. Thank you for sharing a bit of him with me.

A small shard of him lives within my heart now too.

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Beth Joselyn's avatar

Today is my moms birthday -

The first one since she died.

Very timely and heart opening healing gift today

Thank you

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Jeff Warren's avatar

Love to your mom, Beth.

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Chris Miller's avatar

Thanks sooo much Jeff. You wrote that you would write a meditation for grief. This was very good! It is always better to feel the emotions of grief rather than stuff them down.

I’m very sorry for the loss of your friend that left a hole in your heart. May you have peace. May you be well.

I feel that way about my wonderful husband, my buddy. It hasn’t been a year yet.

I also feel for all the other people messed there that lost someone and are feeling these feelings too. You really are the best Jeff!!😊🙏

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Jeff Warren's avatar

Thanks Chris, may you be well too, my friend!

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Chris Miller's avatar

I forgot to mention that 4 days after I lost my husband, I lost my sister. 2 years ago I lost my pest brother very tragically. He called me the day before my birthday to see how we were doing. I found it on my phone after I got a call that he was found in his bed . Not much left of him because it was so hot. I remember a few days before him saying air was broken. He c was trying very hard to to fix it. Maybe this was unnecessary to tel you all. But this meditation brought it all up again. Another brother died many b years ago in a terrible auto accident. .

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Myrna Wathen's avatar

Thank you for sharing your love for Daniel. I grieve for my beautiful Cheryl who passed almost 4 years ago. It was this time of the year when she started to have symptoms and by December she was gone. We're the same age and were friends for 25 years. Cheryl was a healer and there are so many who miss her and her healing touch. Cheryl is the first person I've truly loved and lost. I now know grief. Your meditation today was exactly the best way to grieve for her. Wishing all of us moments of ease and peace in our grief ✨️

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Jeff Warren's avatar

Thanks, Myrna, Cheryl sounds like an awesome person. Thank you for sharing your love for her.

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Chris Miller's avatar

So very sorry for your loss!

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